Getting Easier With Time

This past Saturday, the 17th was a big day for me. 

A day that hits my heart and emotions every single year. 

Though hubby and I where away on a little mini-cation the memories and feelings of that day still carried with me. 

Four years ago, November 17, 2008 was the day I lost one of my best friends. A day that will forever be a tough one for me. A day that changed my life SO much. A day that I said goodbye to someone who knew me better than I will ever know myself. A day that I will forever remember.

 I've talked about this situation before here on thee blog but for those of you who might have missed it...I dated one of my cousin's friends for about two years in high school. When my cousin started dating a new girl, Amanda the four of us starting hanging out all the time. We had dinner together on week nights, we went to church together, we spent weekends together. Amanda and I became super close, sister like close and began one heck of a friendship. We talked everyday, we text everyday, we hung out multiple times through out the week. We even ended up working together. She was one of the best friends I had ever had and was there for me no matter what. We celebrated our 18th birthdays together, talked about being in each others wedding, being "aunts" to each others children, and going on double dates with whomever our husbands ended up being. Her and my cousin broke up and then I broke up with my boyfriend but still our friendship continued. 

  We worked together November 15th, 2008 and little did I know that that would be the last time I saw her face, heard her laugh or get one of her "see ya tomorrow hugs". Two days later I received a text from my cousin asking me when the last time I had saw Amanda was. I replied telling him that it had been two days but that we where working together later that day. He called shortly after telling me that she had died, she was gone...forever gone. She was headed out of town with another friend and the car she was riding in hit a patch of ice, crossed the center line and was T-boned on the passenger side (where she was sitting) by an un-coming pickup truck. She died instantly. 

 I struggled with it for a long time afterwards, and still do four years later. I was angry, sad and felt abandoned. There are still days I feel this way but I'm moving on. I'm focusing on remembering the good times. I feel her here with me constantly and know that she's smiling down on me. But it's still hard. 

I guess the point of this post is just to remind you that life is short. I lost my best friend when she was 19 years old. There's no promise that life will turn out exactly how we pictured it to be. There's no promise that life will be all joy and smiles. There will be times of grief, extreme sorrow, and sadness. So be thankful for today. Be thankful for your loved ones and make sure you tell them how much they mean to you and how much you love them. 

Amanda, my beautiful guardian angel:

Thank you for being one of the greatest friends I've ever had. 

Thank you for the laughs, the shoulder to cry on & being there for me no matter what. Thank you for believing in me and pushing me to the best that I could be. Thank you for the fun and memories. Thank you for being like a sister to me. Thank you for allowing me to be your friend and for being you, wonderful you. The world will never be the same without you girl!  I love you with all of my heart and miss you each and every day!