Just over four months ago I sat in a conference room at the Hyatt in Chicago, IL for the Diamond Bound Event. I signed up for the conference nearly a year back and truthfully wasn't sure why I came.
I wasn't cut out to be a Diamond, to lead massive groups of people on a wellness journey. Nope, that wasn't in my cards. After all, I'm from a tiny town in Wisco. I'm not a master of wellness and I eat entirely too much sugar. I'm not close to being a perfect mom. My house is a mess. I last painted my toenails months ago & couldn't care less about the chips. I'm a 9 on the Enneagram scale and everyone knows that us nines are play safers. Nope, I just wasn't cut out for that.
I slathered myself full of this blend while there and through a lot of soul searching my mindset took a turn. I COULD do this, if I wanted. It would be work and effort but it might be worth it. It would take more time than I wanted but hey, we only live once right? I listened to some of thee most beautiful hearts speak and my heart started shifting. They had doubts, fears and tons of reasons why they couldn't be a Diamond...but they did it anyway. Why should I be any different? I left the conference knowing that was RIGHT where I was supposed to be that weekend, exactly what I needed.
I returned home to working way too many hours at a job that I constantly feel like I'm failing at, a messy house, kids that I simply can't get enough time with & a husband demanding more of my attention...rightfully so. My good ole' nine heart sank right back into my routines...please others, do what they say/want, forget your dreams...you're not a Diamond Stormy. And, you'll never be.
I let this talk and thoughts be the everyday for the past few months. This morning in the midst of a quite, home reno morning with my family I (without even thinking) strolled to my oils and grabbed one without looking. I opened it, dabbed it over my heart & took a deep breath in.
Ahh. Chicago. Soul work. Boss babes. Community. Changing lives. Believing in yourself.
It all came back with an overwhelming surge.
And here I sit, tears soaking my lap. Streaming from my eyes in overwhelming volume. Feeling like a fool for letting the world get the best of me again.
If anyone has ever had days like this please know you're not alone friends I'm right here with you. 30 years into life and am finding that all the trauma and past events are hitting me harder now than they've ever before. Here's to believing in ourselves though. Believing that no small town, messy house and chippy nails can hold us down. Here's to believing in the diamond hidden within each of us...just waiting for it's time to shine. For I believe in you. In your worth. In your beauty. In your dreams. And the incredibly rich way you were designed to live.